Turning over the rock

In order to live the vision of the incredible, amazing life you want, first you have to define the vision. And to define the vision, you have to understand yourself. And to understand yourself, you have go THERE. You know where I mean. The soft squishy sore spot that you've avoided looking directly at your whole life. The one that has a whole story around it, as to why it's rational to be a certain way. And you have to really shine the sun on that story- look at it from an objective point of view. Turn it over and see where it came from, why it's there STILL, and whether it really serves you.

I know I have stories,and as part of my coach training program, I've had to really look at them.  It's sometimes painful, always scary.  But in the end it's so freeing to let them go. 

Here's an example of a story I've had my whole life:  I used to get upset when people criticized me. Like, really upset.  And I would always run away.  Many broken relationships litter my past due to this story.  My marriage almost broke because of this story. 

The story I had was that it was perfectly logical for me to feel really hurt every time someone criticized me- because I "knew" that it really meant that they didn't love me, or even like me. Or maybe they even hated me. So the story I made up here is that if someone found fault with anything I did, it was really just a tiny indication of the really huge-mongous issue they had with me. 

Where did this story come from?  Probably from my childhood when someone said something mean to me the first time. Maybe I was 5, or 6 when my friend told me that she didn't want to be my friend any more because I looked like a boy.  Maybe it was when I was 12 and Philip told me I had hippo hips. The point is I was 5. Or 6. Or even 12. I was not a full-grown adult with the cognitive abilities I now have, and I certainly didn't have the understanding that other people have their own stuff, and it's not not always about me. In fact, that it's most often NOT about me. 

So although this is improving, changing this story is still a work in progress, as makes sense for something that has lived for 35 years. AND the sun is shining on that soft squishy spot and is healing it. My commitment is to continue shining the light on that spot until it's totally healed, and part of that commitment is to share with you my story. 

So what's your story?